Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
