Pappa wants mamma naked
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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