if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
