As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
