My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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