He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
