Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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