oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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