I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
