no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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