Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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