why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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