Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
