Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
