Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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