Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
