Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize