don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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