Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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