I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
