we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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