you guys were way drunker than both of me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
