at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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