i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize