im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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