Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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