My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
