Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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