We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
