It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
