pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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