I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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