Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
