so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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