i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
