so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
