just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
