Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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