I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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