do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
