I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
