just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
