brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
