i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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