I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize