so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize