If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
