Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
