you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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