That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
