So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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