hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
