Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
