i just had sex bonerless
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
