two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
