I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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