omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
