I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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