guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She even gives head with a lisp.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
