One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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